The Hardest Thing–Part 1!

March 14, 2024

The Hardest Thing—Part 1!

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things!  When it comes to forgiveness, most people respond to the pain in one of three ways.  Although there are other responses, these three seem to be most common.

The first response is described in the statement; “I can never forgive that person for what they did to me!”  The pain, or at least the memory of the pain, continually sabotages any desire and/or attempt to engage in the work of forgiveness. 

It is easier to hold on to the pain than to forgive the person!

The second response is described in the statement; “I have forgiven that person for what they did to me but I am still hurt!”  Because it seems like the right thing or the Christian thing to do, we engage in some of the work of forgiveness.  However, we never quite reach a place where the pain or the person no longer control how we feel about what happened or what is happening today. 

We are still hurt or still angry or still sad.  We are still wounded, still broken, still the victim.   It is easier to say “I have forgiven!” than to actually engage in the work of forgiveness.  Often the result is that we never quite experience the kind of forgiveness that sets us free and gives us peace.

It is easier to give up too soon on the work of forgiveness than to push through to real healing.

The third response is described in the statement; “I do not need to forgive that person for what they did to me because it was not that bad!”  I can fall into a kind of denial in which I convince myself (and maybe other people!) that it was never that bad or that it never happened at all. 

There are other times I am willing to admit that it happened but convince myself that I have dealt with it.  It is also easy to fall into blaming myself for what happened; it was my fault!  Sometimes we choose to avoid the work of forgiving because we are in denial of the pain, it is too painful to work through, or we blame ourselves for the pain the other person has caused us. 

It is easier to excuse or deny or shift blame than to engage in the work of forgiveness.

I am no expert when it comes to forgiveness.  But, I have learned that forgiveness is one of the hardest things!

+Sometimes I can harbor less than honorable thoughts when I have been hurt by another person.  In short, I want to hurt them back. 

+Sometimes I can convince myself “all is forgiven” when I have been hurt.  Then several weeks or months or even years later, I am reminded that maybe the truth is that most (but not all!) is forgiven. 

+Sometimes I can just get tired of forgiving the person who continues to hurt me in the same way over and over and over again.

Most of what I have learned about forgiveness is from Jesus.  The Bible is clear that Jesus lived and died to bridge a spiritual chasm between us and the Lord God.  The chasm was caused by our sin; i.e., the hurt we have inflicted on ourselves, on other people, and on the Lord God as well as the hurt that has been inflicted upon us!

In order to bridge that gap, someone must pay the price so forgiveness can be possible.  In other words, there has to be a sacrifice.  The sacrifice required the suffering and death of the Son of God, Jesus.  More specifically, the sacrifice needed to bridge the chasm between us and the Lord God required Jesus’ blood.

During these weeks before Easter, we are reminded over and over about the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.  When it comes to engaging in the work of forgiveness, the cross becomes a powerful symbol  of what matters most;  Jesus suffered and died so we can experience forgiveness as well as the peace and joy forgiveness brings!  Take some time to reflect on these texts.

In Colossians 1:20 we hear; “…and through him (Jesus) God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of his cross.”

In I Peter 2:24 we hear; “He (Jesus) himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.”

In Ephesians 1:7 we hear; “In him (Jesus) we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace…”

Because Jesus died on a cross (i.e., gave His life, shed His blood, became our sacrifice!), our sin can be forgiven.  No matter what has been done to do you or what you have done to another person, your sin will be forgiven when you ask Jesus to forgive you.  Period! 

The Apostle John states the promise of the cross in clear terms.  In 1 John 1:9 we hear; “If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

The season of Lent in which we are living right now is a season in which we are invited to confess our sin and/or the sin that has been done to us.  It is a season to be honest!    

+Lent is a season to initiate a conversation with Jesus about the pain lodged deep in our heart and the darkness that lingers with that unforgiveness.  This is called confession! 

+Lent is a season to initiate a conversation with Jesus in which we ask Jesus to touch us with His tender mercy, show us His amazing grace, and set us free from the shackles of guilt and shame.  This is called forgiveness!

+Lent is a season to initiate a conversation with Jesus in which we ask the Holy Spirit to give us the desire and the strength and the courage to live with the assurance we have been forgiven by Jesus.  This is called repentance (i.e., living in a new direction!). 

When we initiate these conversations with Jesus there is a transformation that begins in our heart, our mind, and our very soul.  We will often feel better physically, too.  When we have these conversations with Jesus, peace and joy and delight in the Lord will return to fill our hearts.  I invite you to have a conversation about forgiveness with Jesus today.

Take Delight In The Lord!

Doug