The Hardest Thing–Part 2

March 21, 2024

The Hardest Thing—Part 2!

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things! 

I can’t forgive THAT person!

I can’t forgive because the pain is too deep.

I can’t forgive because the hurt is too fresh.

I can’t forgive because the heartache is too profound.

I can’t forgive THAT person!

I can’t forgive because the person is too dangerous.

I can’t forgive because the person feels they did no wrong.

I can’t forgive because I don’t want to relive the anguish of the offense.

I can’t forgive ME!

I can’t forgive because I am too blame.

I can’t forgive because of what other people will think of me.

I can’t forgive because it did not really hurt anyone. 

I can’t forgive God!

I can’t forgive because God allowed this to happen.

I can’t forgive because God did not help when I asked.

I can’t forgive because God was silent when God should have intervened.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things! 

And yet, most of the healing we need today in our heart, mind, soul, and sometimes even in our body comes when we engage in the work of forgiveness.  The converse is also true; we remain less of a person and/or we become a sick person (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) when we refuse to engage in the work of forgiveness.

Forgiveness requires hard work and often a long season of hard work.  There are some things that can be forgiven in a single sincere conversation.  There are other things that hurt so deeply, they may require weeks, months, or even years to forgive.

Forgiveness requires hard work, persistent work, and some risks in which we may not be willing to engage.  And yet, the call of the Lord God is to do our part in the work of forgiveness. 

For certain, we cannot do Jesus’ part of forgiveness (i.e., shedding His blood and giving His life!) and we cannot do the other person’s part (i.e., receiving our offer of forgiveness!).  But, we can do our part of forgiveness.    

In Ephesians 4:32 we hear; “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.”  We are called to forgive one another; it is an act of kindness!  And, the model for how we forgive is the way in which we have experienced Jesus’ forgiveness in our own life.

And yet, there are times when a particular person has hurt us in a particular way one time or many times that feels like it is far, far beyond what Jesus would expect us to forgive.  Instead, we want to run away, we want to get even, or we inflict a similar pain on people who were not even involved in the initial offense.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things!

As if all of that is not enough, there is one more thing that makes real forgiveness so hard.  In John 20:23 Jesus says; “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” 

Jesus says if we forgive the other person, if we forgive ourselves, if we forgive God then those sins are forgiven.  However, if we hold on to those sins (another’s sin or even my sin!), those sins are not forgiven.  The power of forgiveness lies in your hands and in my hands.  Jesus says there is a great deal at stake if we choose to not forgive!

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things! 

But, there is more to forgiveness than me and the other person.  My forgiveness of myself or my forgiveness of another person has a direct correlation to whether I can experience the forgiveness of my Heavenly Father.

For me, one of the most difficult verses in the entire Bible is a statement which Jesus makes about forgiving other people.  In Matthew 6:14-15 (CEV) Jesus says; “If you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, your Father in heaven will forgive you.  But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Here is the same verses in “The Message”; “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do.  You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others.  If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.”

Jesus is crystal clear; my relationship with Jesus is directly impacted by my relationships with other people, especially my relationships with the people who have hurt me or who I have hurt.  If I cannot forgive another person or if I cannot forgive myself, then I choose to cut myself off from Jesus’ forgiveness of me.

A simple “I’m sorry!” may not be enough.  A quick “I forgive you!” may not be enough.  Forgiveness is about what is going on in my mind, in my heart, and in my very soul.  Some offenses will require great effort, persistent attention, and much prayer to journey back to a healthy and holy place. 

Although the relationship with the other person may never be fully restored, there can be peace and joy that only the Lord God can provide me and the other person.  When the Spirit begins to produce those fruit in me and in the other person, my heart will fill with delight in the Lord.

I invite you to have a conversation about forgiveness with Jesus today.

Take Delight In The Lord!

Doug