Relationship And Self-Sufficiency!

April 17, 2025

Relationship And Self-Sufficiency!

I was raised to be self-sufficient.  My father was a self-made man and a strong leader.  He made great sacrifices in order to be successful in business and to provide for his family.  My mother was a fiercely independent woman who worked hard in the workplace and at home.  She was a strong and courageous woman.

I followed the example of my parents; I forged my way ahead with strength and courage, I worked hard and made sacrifices, and I valued being self-sufficient and independent rather than going along with the crowd.

The challenge of my approach to life has been some times my relationships with family and friend were sacrificed more than they should have been.  Although I value being self-sufficient, I also cherish my relationships with friends and family and with Jesus.

There have been more than a few times when I have watched this tension between relationships and self-sufficiency play out in my relationship with Jesus.  I usually recognize there is a bit of a problem when I am physically exhausted, mentally dull, and spiritually empty.

When I take some time to reflect and pray, I realize I have been working with just my own strength, with just my own knowledge, and with just my own experience to guide me.  In other words, I inadvertently and unintentionally leave Jesus off to the side of whatever I am trying to accomplish.

The reality saddens me because I love Jesus and have asked him to lead me and provide for me.  And yet, that need to be self-sufficient, can sometimes push Jesus to the side.  I am no longer dependent upon Jesus’ acceptance, no longer surrendered to Jesus’ dream, and no longer aware of Jesus’ deep, deep love for me. 

The result is that I am not only self-sufficient, I can also end up alone.  It’s interesting how our greatest strength can often get in the way of our relationship with Jesus.  I am blessed to have a wife who sees this drift happening long before I do.  The Holy Spirit uses her to call me back to the heart of Jesus.  I am grateful for her awareness of that drift.

Most of us will experience occasional seasons in our life when we desire a relationship or a deeper relationship with the Lord God.  In order for that to happen, there needs to be a shift in you and me.

Jesus was busy healing people, teaching people, and leading people.  And yet, there were times when Jesus needed to focus upon pulling away from all the work of ministry so He could be in the presence of His Heavenly Father. 

In Luke 6:12 we hear; “Now during those days he went out to the mountain to pray, and he spent the night in prayer to God.”

There were other times when the opposition was strong, the challenges were overwhelming, and resistance was too much.  Rather than trying to push through the circumstances around Him, Jesus would sometimes withdraw so He could be in the presence of His Heavenly Father.

In John 6:15 we hear; “When Jesus realized that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain by himself.”

Growing, and sometimes re-kindling, our relationship with Jesus requires us to move away (at least for a little while!) from self-sufficiency.  That drawing near to Jesus requires something different in the way we live and work.  It requires being still as well as both remembering and experiencing that Jesus is the Lord God.

In Psalm 46:10-11 we hear; “’Be still, and know that I am God!  I am exalted among the nations; I am exalted in the earth.’  The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.”

The Church remembers today (Thursday) as the occasion when Jesus shared His last meal with the disciples before He was arrested.  We remember the night before Jesus would be ridiculed, beaten, and executed.

The meal was a time for conversation…conversation about what Jesus believed were the most important things!  I wonder if you can take some time today to focus on what the Lord God believes are the most important things in your life. 

What Jesus wants most is for you and me to love Him, adore Him, worship Him, and serve Him.  As long as I believe I can do life on my own, I can do my job on my own, I can fix my marriage on my own, I can raise my children on my own, and I can repair a broken relationship on my own, my relationship with Jesus will be less than what He desires.

When I focus more upon my relationship with Jesus than upon my ability and/or need to be self-sufficient, I find there is a new measure of God’s peace and joy and love that begin to fill my life.  When that happens to you, your heart will be filled with delight in being in the Lord’s presence.

Take Delight In The Lord!

Doug