Love; Don’t Give Up!

January 22, 2026

Love; Don’t Give Up!

I thought I might marry her some day.  But, as we departed ways to join our families for the summer, she spoke a few words that changed everything; “Doug, we are just friends…”  I took her at her word; the relationship was going nowhere.

However, during the next few weeks she wrote a letter or two.  I did not answer.  She called once and we visited a bit.  She wanted to go deeper with our relationship.  I prayed and prayed and prayed.  When we talked on the phone a second time, I told her I was not interested.

The heart-ache and heart-break were pretty deep.  Chalk it up to “young love” or whatever else makes sense.  But, it did not make sense to me.  For a season, I gave up on love.  I was single.  And, sometimes I was a bit lonely.  I asked Jesus to help me be at peace with being single.  Jesus answered my prayer. 

When we get hurt by another person, we can give up on love.  We lose our patience, we lose our hope, and we lose our ability to persevere. 

It happens when you are single, when you are married, or when your son disconnects from your family.  It happens when your best friend betrays you, when a good neighbor dishonors you, and when a sibling is verbally abusive.  At some point, most of us have been hurt so deeply that we have made the choice to give up on love.

The Apostle Paul writes a letter to the churches in Rome when the Christ-followers there are struggling with persecution, wavering in their faith, and wondering whom they can trust.  I imagine there were many who wondered what it meant to be a true Christian.

In Romans 12, Paul describes the marks of a true Christian.  Paul says the first mark is love.  Love is the foundation for hope and patience and perseverance.  In Romans 12:12 Paul writes; “Rejoice in hope; be patient in suffering; persevere in prayer.”

Although it is easy to understand why Christ-followers in first century Rome would have been tempted to give up on love, Paul encourages them to hold onto hope, practice patience, and continue to persevere.  Of course, they had been hurt; there was more than enough to lead them to disappointment, desperation, and discouragement.

Paul tells the Christ-followers in Rome to give praise (i.e., to rejoice!) to God, to wait (i.e., to be patient!) for the Holy Spirit to act, and to pray (i.e., to persevere!).  We are reminded of Jesus’ words to the disciples.  In Matthew 7:7 Jesus says; “Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.”  It is Jesus’ promise that when we do not give up on love, the Lord will give us the things we need most; answers will come and doors will open!

I know what it is like to hurt so deeply that I gave up on love.  There were times I no longer asked Jesus for a life-partner.  Sometimes I believed marriage was not in the cards for me.  Sometimes I wondered if I could ever trust another person enough to love them like Jesus would want me to love them.

I continued to pray.  And, as I read my Bible Jesus would speak to me.  I am reminded of the Apostle Paul’s statement to the church in Ephesus.  In Ephesians 6:18 Paul writes; “Pray in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication.  To that end, keep alert and always persevere in supplication for all the saints.”

Not only does Paul encourage us to “pray in the Spirit at all times” he also calls us to “keep alert.”  When we are about to give up on love, it is important to pray a lot and with a specific focus. 

It is important to keep alert to where and when and how the Spirit is going to heal our heart-ache and heart-break.  It is also important to pay attention to the way in which the Holy Spirit is about to restore our capacity to love another person.

I wonder where you have or are about to give up on love. 

+Have you given up on Jesus’ love for you?  Disappointment and discouragement and depression can do that to us. 

+Can you rejoice in something for which you still have hope?  Can you be patient a little longer where you have been hurt?  Can you continue to persevere the pain while you are praying? 

+Have you given up on loving another person with all your heart, mind, and soul?  Betrayal, dishonesty, and abuse as well as being dishonored, shamed, or put down can cause us to give up on loving another person. 

+Can you continue to pray in the Spirit at all times?  Can you continue to remain alert to what the Holy Spirit is about to do in your relationships?

When a broken heart is not yet mended or a desire to quit on love is strong, Jesus can restore our hope, our patience, and our perseverance.  All you need to do is ask while trusting Jesus will open a door for you.  When you finally embrace love again, your heart will fill with delight in God’s goodness.

Take Delight In The Lord!

Doug